Your Christmas Carol: A Therapeutic Tool for Change
During this time of year, I often use the classic tale, “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens as a therapeutic tool to help individuals self-reflect on their past, present, and future.
My goal of this activity is to help you explore unresolved issues from your past, identify how you can improve your life presently, and enhance your motivation for positive change for your future.
Let’s reflect…
If you were visited by the three spirits as in the “A Christmas Carol” tale, what would they say to you?
I encourage you to read the exploratory questions below and self-reflect in a quiet or relaxing space, such as the shower, or spend time journaling your natural free thoughts.
Ghost of Christmas Past
- What do you believe are the past events that have shaped who you are and that have impacted your current life?
- Do you often avoid certain memories, people, places, or topics of conversation?
- Do you struggle with thoughts of regret, guilt, or shame? If so, explore where this originated from.
- Do you need to make amends and access forgiveness?
Ghost of Christmas Present
- What does your typical day look like?
- Are you happy, healthy, and living the life you imagined for yourself? If not, why not?
- How are your daily actions preventing you from reaching wellness and joy?
- Do you believe you are living in alignment with your personal values, spirituality, and life goals?
- Explore your present day choices, thoughts, emotions, behaviors. What small change can you make today that’s more in alignment with your goals and values?
- What values and truths are you living by? Are they yours?
- How can you create meaning in your daily life and give attention to the micro moments of happiness?
Ghost of Christmas Future
- If you continue with your present day actions, or inactions, what will your future look like?
- If you woke up tomorrow and everything was as you hoped your life would be, what would be different? How can you use this to bridge the gap between what you want for your life and what you’re currently accepting in your present life?
- Even further, as depicted in this classic tale, what will your funeral look like? What will your eulogy read?
- Can you create space and stillness for spiritual connection?
- No decision is permanent—except death. Reflect on this and identify how you can take your power back.
The hard truth
The three ghosts in, “A Christmas Carol”, represent choices.
The choices in your past may not have been made by you – as children we are solely reliant on the adults in our life. We can, however, identify what went wrong, what impacted us, what we wish were different and use that information to change our present and future.
This is great news! You can take your power back! You have the ability to heal!
The truth is you are in control of your life and your healing. This is often hard to hear and accept because we have not allowed ourselves to grieve the past. As uncomfortable as it may be, we can’t ignore the significant facts or events that shaped our present.
You may not have control over situations that occur, but you have control to how to respond to them and how you choose to feel about them. (Yes, how you choose to feel.)
An empowering truth
Did you know that a chemical reaction in the brain for an emotion lasts about 90 seconds?
This means that if you’re experiencing the emotion after the 90 seconds then you are actively doing something that is causing you to continue to experience the emotion.
For example, something happens and you feel angry. What do you do with that anger? Do you call someone and “vent” to them about it? Do you obsessively think about the situation and get more upset that you “coulda, shoulda, woulda” responded differently?
If so, you are reliving the situation and therefore re-experiencing the emotion. Change your thought = change your emotion. This is actually the basis of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy!
Change and healing is not a future event, but is shaped by our daily choices and actions!
Okay, so you’ve self-reflected. What now?
Resolving the Past: You redefine your past and turn your pain into purpose. Allow yourself to heal from any past unresolved issues and leave it there. If you’re struggling with feelings of shame, guilt, or regret then you are living in the past. The past is over and cannot be changed. All you can do now is learn from it. (which is the healthy function of guilt by the way! To problem-solve!).
Understanding your Present: Let’s learn how your current thoughts, emotions, and behaviors impact your overall health and success in life. Once you recognize your choices that don’t serve you, you can change those choices, and you will improve your overall wellness and happiness.
Reshaping your Future: Let’s find a healthy balance between not worrying about the future and setting healthy goals. Let’s understand how your present day behaviors and choices will impact those future goals. Let’s start living in alignment with your authentic self.
Therapy can help
As a holistic functional mental health practice, our 3-Tiered approach to mental wellness guides you to explore, identify, and resolve root causes while offering you the safety and emotional support you need to cope with present day stressors. We also give you a framework of what you can do outside of session to improve your overall wellness and enhance your therapy outcomes.
